Instant before death
by igore
Summary: Post s6, after 'Him" but nothing after. Sequel to "Never to see the sun again" but you can read this without reading that. Original character POV


Title: Instant before death Summary: Post s6, after 'Him" but nothing after. Sequel to "Never to see the sun again" but you can read this without reading that. Original character POV Disclaimer: you all know I'm not creative or smart enough to have any part in thes characters. A/N: Well this is a sequel, so it's almost a series. There will be a third one if I can muster enough energy to squeeze it out.  
  
It is a requirement now to praise My favorite authors, Because they are actually that good. And all hail to Kittyb90, my favorite author, who is so good she's already won a thousand awards.  
  
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There is and instant before death where memories and thoughts go a mile a second, stretching that instant for hours or days. She was dying, and now she knew how this happened. It all clicked, it all made sense now. In that final moment.  
  
It started with him, the man she had started seeing repeatedly since she had sat down on that bench 7 months ago. He had seemed so sad and lost. Just staring into space. Sometimes when she passed by he would have tears on his cheeks, sometimes he would be hugging himself, sometimes he would just be limp. But whatever the position he would always be distant and full of sorrow.  
  
She had never actually talked to him. You don't talk to strange men at night, not here, not in this town. But she always came close to stopping, turning to him asking what was wrong, but her self preservation instinct always came into play at that moment.  
  
Except one night.  
  
Her boyfriend of 2 years had just broke up with her after a month of cheating with her sister. She got a little bit buzzed and decided to go get really drunk in the safety of her home. And like every night he would be there. And then came the moment where she would slow slightly and almost stop. And when the voice in her head was suppose to tell her to keep walking was supposed to come, there was silence.  
  
So she did stop and turn. But kept silent. He didn't look up, he didn't react in any way. Deciding that she had already stopped and it was too late to ignore him, she sat. They didn't speak or look at each other, just sat. Somehow she felt better, sitting there. And for some reason she felt he did to.  
  
When it was getting close to dawn they both got up. They looked at each other and he seemed to silently thank her with those deep blue eyes, before turning away and walking into the park.  
  
This went on for a week. Each night coming off of work, coming to the bench and just sat with him. Then on the seventh day he finally spoke. Just a whisper. but from that she could feel the sadness and guilt.  
  
"I'm a monster"  
  
She had looked at him then, the unexpected statement surprised her. His eyes stated out in front of him, glued to the ground. But his face told that he had no doubt of it. She couldn't dispute or agree with it.  
  
"Okay"  
  
It was the only response she could think of. And it didn't seem to phase him a bit. Still not understanding she braved a question.  
  
"why"  
  
That got his attention, he just looked at her as if he had seen her for the first time. Not seeing anything but honest curiousity. Sighing he closed his eye's and a muscle could be seen working in his jaw. Obviously this was hard for him to say. She could understand it, it wasn't real until you said it yourself.  
  
"I've killed, men, women, children. I've done things that can't be discribed."  
  
A tear slid down his cheek, and his shoulders seemed to rise as if they had lost the weight on them. But there was still something, something that couldn't make it past his lips. And it was he was fighting to get it all out.  
  
"I...I tried...I hurt...the person I love."  
  
That seemed to break him, and let loose the tears. In the silence, she just sat there. Her sobering mind said that she should get up and walk away. But just something about him made her touch his shoulder. He jerked away as if she was a electric current. His face came to face hers and she couldn't help but see the grief the sadness all of it. His sharp cheekbones were wet with the tears that still treked down his face. His eyes were searching. And all he saw was a certain understanding. Her confidence strengthening, she put a hand on his shoulder and another on the back of his neck and pulled him to her. At first he resisted, probably frightened, but finally he crumpled. She wrapped her arms around him while he sobbed into her shoulder.  
  
Once he slowly stopped crying, and over a month he told her everything. Cecily, Drusilla, Prague, Sunnydale, Buffy, Dawn, Joyce, everything. At the end of it, she just stared at the sidewalk.  
  
She didn't say anything as she got up to leave. And for the next two weeks she spent hours thinking about everything he said. Figuring it out. This man, creature as he called himself, had done unspeakable things, but she saw him, she saw his pain. But she had to see what he truely was, what the monster was. And if she could see the sadness in that face then maybe they could move on.  
  
"Let me see it, the face, your face."  
  
At first he seemed startled at her sudden presence. Tense he nodded and with much effort he pulled the mask away, revealing, replacing those blue eyes with gold. And there it was, if not more raw than in his smooth human visage. Her hand traveled to his cheek. Her thumb wiping away the tears that came from the touch. And she could see all the tension melt.  
  
Then they did something neither had expected. They kissed. His vampire face still in place. They slowly broke away and leaned their foreheads together. Feeling the rightness of it all.  
  
After that night they took it slow. They'd walk around, sometimes talking, sometimes just walking and feeling each others presence. Taking in the calming effect. And when they finally parted each night, they would kiss and she would return home. And each night she would ache at the loss of the atmosphere he seemed to omit.  
  
It was almost two months after that night before she met Buffy, the slayer, the one person who he had held higher than his own existence.  
  
They had been walking, her telling him about the grief she was getting from her job, as always he would listen till she was done then make some sarcastic comment that would make her smile. And after getting a brief kiss they turned to find the shocked slayer standing twenty feet away. Spike was frozen in his tracks. Just staring at the slayer who was staring right back.  
  
They didn't say anything for a full 30 seconds, but there was a conversation going on that she could tell was heated and painful. Finally he took her hand, turned around and walked away, leaving the slayer where she was. She could swear she could see a tear run down Buffy's cheek.  
  
They didn't speak all the way to her house, and when he reached her house he kissed her lightly on the cheek and turned to go. But her mind screamed and her hand went to his arm. Keeping him from going. Turning his face to hers she kissed him with everything she had. Soon they were on the bed, wrapped around each other, inside and out. And after they came down, him spooning her, she finally whispered the words that had been floating in her head for the last month.  
  
"I love you"  
  
She knew he heard it, because he turned her to face him and gently kissed her on the lips. And whispered back.  
  
"I love you"  
  
It was the happiest moment of both there lives. To love and be loved back. They finally felt complete. It went on like that for another three months. And as time progressed he moved in, after a big fight of course, and what finally broke him was when she insinuated that if he didn't move in at her house, she was moving into his.  
  
They had sex frequently, every room had been "christened" as they liked to say. Sometimes it was rough, sometimes slow, sometimes quick, sometimes very, very long. But in the end they always whispered those three words in each others ear. And one very special night they claimed each other. Her bite mark clear on his shoulder and his on her neck.  
  
During those three months she had met all the scoobies, never intentionally. Because she knew what had happened and how they all thought of him. She understood it, but didn't put up with the "whelp's" constant degradation. And her heart ached whenever they encountered Dawn, she was curt and often rude to Spike. It pained her because she knew how much he loved that little girl. But some things would never be helped. Willow seemed to be the only one of them who was slightly friendly.  
  
Anya was one of their best friends, but she said she never really was a Scooby so she didn't count.  
  
Buffy was the in-between. Whenever Spike saw the slayer, she could see a little of that old emotion creep back into his eyes. And they would only utter a few phrases, a hello, or hi. But nothing more. Even when she wasn't there to see the encounter she could tell whenever he had met the little blond. He seemed to enter the room as the person she found on that bench, but always brightened and relaxed whenever he felt his mate's presence.  
  
He had told her once she was his sun, his light, and his warmth. And for some reason she liked that more than when he whispered those three little words.  
  
But the 7th month was when it started to get bad. Not from the connection between them, that stayed strong, but it was strained, cause soon they were getting calls, someone would stand outside in the rain and watch the house. But would disappear when he went out to investigate. They started getting pictures of them together, in the house, when they were sleeping and such.  
  
It got so bad that He actually went to those scoobies for help. But they were less than interested. Then there was today. They had gone dancing late in the night at the bronze. She left to go to the bar to get a drink. Her eyes didn't catch the group talking in the corner about the "new big bad" as they called it. It could manipulate minds, willow explained. But her interest in this was cut off when she heard a crash. She turned around to see Buffy beating the crap out of spike.  
  
Seeing her love in pain she rushed to them and grabbed the blond slayers shoulder to pull her away. She didn't remember what happened next, she felt the punch, and she seemed to be flying. Suddenly she hit something and heard a snap in her neck. She didn't understand what was happening.  
  
And that leads up to now. A second after the snap she saw him, the person she loved more than anything. She saw his face and she smiled as everything went black. The last thing she had seen was his smile in return. 


End file.
